Play is essential for a child's healthy development. I've previously written about this in multiple posts. Here is a good summary. This week, I want you to think about why it's important for your child to play without you. Consider this idea... Allow your child to play independently more often.
From ZeroToThree.org (Pandemic Help)
How do I encourage independent play?
Q: I know it would be ideal if we could spend our time at home due to coronavirus playing with our children all the time, but it’s just not possible. How do I get my little ones to play on their own for a little while when I need do other things (work/prepare food/etc.)?
A: This is a great question and something that almost every parent is wondering about right now! Let’s start with what to expect when it comes to attention span in the early years. Spoiler: It’s not long. By one year, children have an attention span of 1-3 minutes. By age two, toddlers’ attention span has grown to about 5-6 minutes. Three-year-olds can attend for up to 8 minutes and 4s up to about 10 minutes.
So—while we can help children engage in independent play, it’s important to hold the right expectations about how long young children can focus. The role of a parent in these early years is to support a child’s growing ability to extend their attention.
How to introduce more independent play? First, gather some engaging toys or materials for your child to explore. Objects that can be used many different ways during play often work better than a toy that only does one thing. (For example, children can quickly tire of a toy where they press a button and it plays a song.) Keep your selections age-appropriate—some items to consider are blocks, art materials (crayons, paper), housekeeping props and dolls/stuffed animals, balls and baskets, and interesting “stuff” like egg cartons, masking tape, paper towel and toilet paper tubes, pinecones, shells, and more. Toddlers who are enjoying pretend play might like a pad, pens, clipboard, and other “work” items. (My friend gave her toddler a shoebox with ‘buttons’ she had drawn with marker. He happily tapped on this “keyboard” while she typed on hers.)
Introduce the play items and let your child take the lead. Ask what you should do or how your child would like to play. Look to see how your child creates opportunities to pretend, combine, sort, match, and construct. As your child becomes engaged in play, phase yourself out. Take less of an active role and sit back and watch. If your child checks in, comment on their play, “I saw you line all the pinecones up on the floor. It was a long line.”
Then move to your own activity. Stay close by because your child will loop back to you when they want to check in (offer a hug/kiss), want your attention (comment on their play), or have run out of ideas of what to do. In that case, you may want to offer an additional prop, object or material to add to their exploration. For example, you might offer dried pasta for them to stir, pour, and transfer using plastic containers and spoons. If they aren’t sure how to proceed in their play, you can also suggest two choices: “Hmm, do you think your baby needs a bath or wants to eat pretend ice cream now?” Strategies like these help children extend their attention by returning to the play again with a new focus.
Over time, children will need less support with free play—and, eventually, we’ll all find a “new normal” in these daily routines.
One last article: Seven Myths That Discourage Independent Play
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