Parenting With Teacher Nancy

Finland has much to share about the needs of our young children.  Children learn differently than adults, and the best way they do that is through play . The Joyful, Illiterate Kindergarteners of Finland  (below is a repost) Parents today hear that it is important to get your child academically ready for school, making sure that direct instruction is used at their child's academic preschool.  But most of the research show the same result, that kids in academic preschools do not have advantages over those in play based preschools, in fact, it shows the opposite.  Kids who went to play based preschools tend to like school more, are less stressed about school, are more creative, and perform better academically and socially.  Here's an article from Parents Magazine that give guidance on how to find a preschool. Play's the Thing!  If you want your preschooler to be ready for the academic rigors ahead, forget about the curriculum.  Instead, look for a classroo

Some research claim that Emotional Quotient (EQ) is more important than IQ.  You can boost your own EQ by learning what emotions look like on others.  Take this on-line quiz that helps you understand the universal facial expressions of emotions: Emotional Intelligence Quiz You can boost your child's (an even other adults) EQ by Emotion Coaching.  This is a method created by John Gottman that helps deal with big emotions in others.  You can read about why this is important and how to do it. Raising an Emotionally Intellegent Child Parenting Styles and Emotion Coaching Here's my simplified version if Emotion Coaching: CCLAP Emotion Coaching Here's a  chart  that you can use with your child to help identify their feelings. Consider This: Try emotion coaching with your child and your partner.

Discussion for Thursday (11/5) and  Monday (11/09)   Social and emotional learning (SEL) is the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. (As defined by Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning.) Research continually shows that SEL, also measured and described as Emotional Quotient (EQ), is more important to foster at a young age, than IQ.  CNN writes of this recent longevity study where they found a direct correlation between high EQ as a child and adult success: Study: Behavior in Kindergarten Linked To Adult Success  How do we begin to help our children increase their EQ?  Begin here: Teaching Your Child About Feelings All Joy and No Fun, by Jennifer Senior Book Discussion   This week we wi

Discussion for Thursday (10/19) and  Monday (11/02)    The American Academy of Pediatrics writes that all media should be limited for all children at every age, and the articles regarding the adverse effects screen time are many.  This is what they write specifically about toddlers :  Television and other entertainment media should be avoided for infants and children under age 2. A child's brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens. Television and other entertainment media should be avoided for infants and children under age 2. A child's brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens. - See more at: https://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/aap-health-initiatives/pages/media-and-children.aspx#sthash.SCyl3Qon.dpuf Here are two quick articles from New York Times about children and screen time: Screen Addiction

Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children's Entertainment (TRUCE) is a wonderful organization with helpful resources for parents and educators.  These guides below give guidelines on how to choose toys and entertainment for children. Infant - Toddler :Play, Toys, and Media Action Guide Toys, Play & Young Children Action Guide Media and Young Children Action Guide Last week we discussed the Creativity Crisis.  Play is the remedy. Play Power: How to Turn Around Our Creativity Crisis Consider This: What is your criteria you use for choosing toys for your child? Extras: TRUCE's other resources and guides.  They have great suggestions for indoor and outdoor play for the family:  http://www.truceteachers.org/guides.htm All Joy and No Fun, by Jennifer Senior Book Discussion   This week we will discuss the first half  of Chapter 5, Adolescence (p. 184-208, stop before the "Adolescent Brain").  Discussion will begin at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Thu

Discussion for Thursday (10/15) and  Monday (10/19)  I think this article is fascinating.  I know I've posted this article before, but please take time to read it again.  I promise you will get something new out of it.  If you haven't read it please do. The Overprotected Kid: The preoccupation with safety has stripped childhood of independence, risk taking, and discovery-- without making it safer.  Play can help end the 'Creativity Crisis.' The Creativity Crisis All Joy and No Fun, by Jennifer Senior Book Discussion   This week we will discuss the second half (p. 144-181, begin at the section titled "The Irreproachable Mom") of Chapter 4, Concerted Cultivation .  Discussion will begin at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Thursday, 10/15 and Monday, 10/19), and 1:00 in the afternoon class (Thursday, 10/15).

Discussion for Thursday (10/8) and  Monday (10/12)   The American Pediatrics Association put out a clinical paper titled " The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds " extolling the purpose in playing.  Physically, emotionally, mentally, academically and relationally, play develops these areas in children. It is essential for children.  NYT has a nice summary of this paper. A Classroom of Monkey Bars and Slides  What exactly does it mean to play anyway?  And what can I do as a parent to get my children to play?  A parent educator writes this essay to explain this and more. What is Play? Consider This: What kind of play do you remember doing as a child?  Did you learn anything new about play from these articles? Extra: The Clinical Paper from the American Pediatrics Association: The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds All Joy and No Fu

Discussion for Thursday (9/24) and  Monday (9/28) A child's brain is amazing.  It is a learning machine where development depends on the loving responses they receive.  There's a good chunk in the article on Language Development and how children learn sooner than we think. The First Year: A baby's brain needs love to develop. National Geographic Magazine   A well timed loving caress promotes language development.  Responding to your child's babbling with a touch or caress is a way to "Serve and Return."  Po Bronson's and Ashley Merryman's book,  Nurture Shock , has an incredible chapter on Language Development called "Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't".  This is not to be missed, see the hand out in class. Talking Toddlers:  Seven Tips to Help Develop Language Skills By Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman (Every semester I post these articles, it's worth the read.) Consider This: What can you do begin to do to help yo

Discussion for Thursday (9/17) and  Monday (9/21) Now that you've made a family mission statement , it's time to anchor your mission into family rituals.  Put what you believe into practice.  These practices that have meaning, are symbolic of your family values, and help form your child's identity.  The research continually shows that kids who practice family rituals are more resilient in times of trauma and can be more emotionally stable .  Rituals can be practiced daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally and annually.  And while you're at it, think about your family narrative, as discussed in the article below. The Stories That Bind Us Why Do Families Need Rituals? Consider This: What  family rituals did you practice in your family growing up that you want to incorporate in your life with your child? What are new rituals you would like to begin? All Joy and No Fun, by Jennifer Senior Book Discussion This week we will discuss Chapter 1, at 9:40 in the morn

These simple acts can make a difference in the lasting health of your child because it causes the brain to form its firm foundation: Five Key Ideas For New Parents Here is the science behind it all, which includes a couple one minute long videos from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child: Experience Builds Brain Architecture  Serve and Return The Foundations of Life Long Health To get more science, I've posted below in the 'Extras' links to the Working Papers. We will spend some class time doing Quiet Observation .  You can read about a mom's experience with this  here . Consider This What am I already doing with my child to develop a strong foundation for brain development? What could I do better? Extras Here is a moving report/story on NPR's This American Life about the importance of physically and emotionally giving love to your children. This American Life: Unconditional Love  (Transcript) This American Life: Unconditional Love (R

Welcome to those that are new to the class, and welcome back to everyone else!  Although this is a repost, check it out again, since your child will be at a different stage now compared to when you last looked at this. Here's a quick overview on your child's development, common issues and what you can do at this stage. Zero To Three:  Age-based Handouts Three To Four Year Olds Consider This: Did anything surprise you about your child's development? Class Resources: Here are the  lyrics to some of our favorite songs . Playdough recipe for you to make at home.

Last week we had a guest speaker, a children's librarian, from SF Public Library.  She gave a wonderful presentation on Early Literacy helping us identify things that we already do and new interactions to encourage early literacy in our children. SFPL Early Literacy Website Here's another fabulous resource run through the library that gives FREE passes to 23 attractions in San Francisco-- perfect for summer time! Check Out SF: Family Pass Also, other Free For Kids in SF resource from SFPL. This week is the last week of classes.  We will end with a celebration potluck in class, so be sure to bring a finger food to share.   Have a wonderful summer!  See you in the fall!

Kids love to play in the dirt.  If you know it's generally "clean," let them. A Little Dirt Is Good For You Here's a general question that is often asked of me:   Cough-and-Sniffle Question: When to Keep a Child Home? A general overview of sleep: How Do I Help My Child Develop Good Sleep Habits What Are the Stages of Sleep (scroll to the bottom "Sleep"section) Extra: Why is it important for adults to get good sleep?  If your child sleeps through the night, make sleep a priority for yourself. The Power of Sleep- Time Magazine

Studies consistently show childhood eating habits begin in infancy.  Start your child's life with a healthy diet that can continue into adulthood. Childhood Diet Habits Set In Infancy Time magazine came out with an issue on "What To Eat Now" which includes the 50 healthiest foods.  Include these in your family diet.  50 Healthiest Foods This article from NY Times food guru, Mark Bittman, gives several principles on how to get kids to eat everything, taking from his own parenting experience and research. How To Raise A Good Eater Parenting From The Inside Out  Book Discussion This week we will discuss the last chapter, Chapter 9, at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Monday, 4/27 and Thursday, 4/26), and 1:00 in the afternoon class (Thursday, 4/30).

Here are some basics about preschools: Comparing Preschool Philosophies Do Kids Really Need Preschool? Death of Preschool Come with your questions about preschool to class.

According to last week's article on Raising Smarter Kids, an important aspect in the American Culture for children and adults alike is intelligence.  But the importance of intelligence in children is not a value that is global.  This article discusses different parental ethnotheories and how it widely varies across cultures.  What do you value in terms of defining success for your child? Americans are Obsessed with Enrichment, the Dutch Think They're Crazy Amy Chua, the self-professed Tiger Mom writes this article with her husband, Jed Rubenfeld, on the Triple Package: the three traits that makes one successful (America's definition).  What are your thoughts on what makes people successful? What Drives Success? More on Praising-- specific statements you can use to encourage the Growth Mindset. What to Say Instead of Praising Parenting From The Inside Out  Book Discussion This week we will discuss Chapter 5, at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Monday, 4/23 and

For those of you who struggle with the CC (Calm and Connect) in CCLAP, or for others who just want to be able to be present in the moment, here's some helpful tips.  Also, think about other mantras that might help you with your parenting or partnering. Relax and Recharge! Five everyday moments when you can make time to meditate--without adding yet another thing to your to-do list. Carol Dweck is the author and researcher of Growth and Fixed Mindset . Here's a new article written by her to help us raise smart kids with resilience. The Secret to Raising Smart Kids This is the reading Dweck mentions in the article. You Can Grow Your Brain Consider This How is Emotion Coaching and/or CCLAP method working with your parent-child or adult relationships?   How can you change the way you talk to your child to nurture their Growth Mindset? Parenting From The Inside Out  Book Discussion This week we will discuss Chapter 4, at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Monday,

Emotion Coaching has been called the “ most important parenting practice in the universe . ”  This is because Emotion Coaching raises your child’s Emotional Quotient (EQ) that attributes to academic and professional success, meaningful relationships, and future health and happiness.  A strong EQ means that one is able to understand their own emotions, emotions of others, and then use that information in a productive manner.  Emotion Coaching is what parents can do to help children understand their emotions and deal with the situation to solve the problem at hand.  It is a way to talk through big emotions with your child to help them navigate their big feelings.   I’ve adopted an easy way to remember how to emotion coach, base on the principles from a couple of my favorite researchers/professors/authors John Gottman and Daniel Siegel .  Empathy, comfort and teaching is our goal, and this method should help.  CCLAP reminds me of Mr. Miyagi from the Karate kid when he claps his hands to

It's hard to believe we can yell at our partner or child, and if we're not yelling, we're disconnecting, which is just as problematic.  Rona Renner has 10 ideas on how to do this less. Is That Me Yelling?   Just as it is important to know how to love and care for your partner and child, it is important to learn how to fight, since, for most people, it is inevitable. How to Fight How To Turn Down The Heat On Fiery Family Arguments Consider This: Try practicing ONE thing from the articles in your next conflict. BOOK CLUB This semester's book is  Dan Siegel's and Mary Hartell's  Parenting from the Inside Out .   We will discuss Chapter 2 on Monday, March 2 and Thursday, March 5 at 9:30 am in the morning classes, and 12:30 in the afternoon class. Come join me and your fellow classmate, Eliza, this Sunday, March 1st at the Asian Art Museum for a free family event of creating and playing with your child.

The article "What Makes a Good Parent? A scientific analysis ranks the 10 most effective child-rearing practices. Surprisingly, some don't even involve the kids" by Robert Epstein ranks Love and Affection as the most important competency that predict good parenting outcomes.  The next two do not involve your child:   Stress Management and Relationship Skills .   This month in class, we will focus on these two competencies because our children experience second hand emotions that come from us.  We should try to make sure those emotions are warm and loving, so let's start by checking in with ourselves and our partners. How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Parents Stress, Parenting and Relationships: Why They're Connected and What We Can Do About That Link Relationship Intimacy: How Can Parents Get Some? What Makes A Good Parent ? A follow up on Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman's chapter on language development: Talking Toddlers: Seven Tips to Help Develop

A child's brain is amazing.  It is a learning machine where development depends on the loving responses they receive. The First Year: A baby's brain needs love to  develop. National Geographic Magazine   Responding to your child's babbling with a touch or caress is a way to "Serve and Return."  Po Bronson's and Ashley Merryman's book,  Nurture Shock , has an incredible chapter on Language Development called "Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't".  This is not to be missed, see the hand out in class. Reading to your child can be a magical experience that can deepen your bond for each other.  It also promotes intelligence.  You should plan to do this with your child even when they grow older. Can Reading Make You Smarter? Study Finds Reading to Children of All Ages Grooms Them to Read More on Their Own Extra: A Perspective aired on KQED about "Investing in Reading" by a dad, who I adore.  This was intended to be heard, so

What is early learning?  Believe it or not, it has very little to do with parents 'teaching'.  It's about the world around your child, her interactions with it and the responses she receives.  Your child's social, emotional and intellectual learning is completely interconnected. Mind In The Making:  The Science of Early Learning What is one way to set up this world that surrounds your child?  The three R's (I like to add a fourth). Rules, Rituals, and Routines (Rhythm- is the other R).  There is growing research showing that having rituals, routines, and a rhythm for each day, and even for the year, helps kids grow up more confident and happy. Rules, Rituals, and Routines:   The Three Rs of Behavior Management Extra Readings on Rituals: The Importance of Rituals in Families Family Rituals May Improve Health and Relationships Creating Family Traditions Family Rituals May Promote Better Emotional Adjustment BOOK CLUB This semester's book is Dan Si

Welcome to those that are new to the class, and welcome back to everyone else!  I hope 2015 is off to a good start for you and your family. This week we'll be reading and discussing "Typical Behavior and Development," as listed as one of the Student Learning Outcomes for this class.  It's important for parents to understand what is developmentally normal in order to feel like a normal parent (if you know what I mean).  Born Learning has put out "Ages and Stages" handouts to highlight what's happening at this stage of your child's development: Born Learning's Ages and Stages Another helpful handout for parents: Five Key Ideas For New Parents In class, we will be taking time to do Quiet Observation of our children.  This is an ideal way to learn about child development, watching our children in action.  The principals used in class are taken from Magda Gerber's ideas of the RIE Approach.  Here is one mom's experience with it: Obs