Parenting With Teacher Nancy

There is the old adage, "you can't give your child something you don't have yourself."  If we want grateful children, we'll have to model gratitude first.  "Gratitude is more than behavior-- it is an internal experience... of NOTICE-THINK-FEEL-DO."  Let's try to be mindful of this, for the sake of our children. What Parents Need to Understand About Gratitude On the flip side of gratitude is materialism. Understanding why kids want things and what to do about it is helpful. In this season of buy-buy-buy, consider alternatives to obtaining things by focusing on what matters in life. Why Kids Want Things 6 Ways to Squash Kids' Materialism This Holiday Enjoy this winter break with your family.  We'll see you in January! CLASS ANNOUNCEMENTS This week of December 16 is the last week of classes, the semester ends on December 22.  We will have a potluck celebration in class.  Bring food and good cheer to share.

Research tells us that toddlers' have the ability to be prosocial (" voluntary behavior intended to benefit another").  They have the innate ability to cooperate and help others.  The article states that " This prosocial orientation is fundamental to what makes us human."  So when your child snatches something out of another friend's hands, remember that often, it's just their way of socially interacting with others. Using your "news casting" to explicitly explain the situation and what action is helpful will guide your child.  Toddlers have yet to develop their impulse control. Stop Telling Your Toddler to Share The S Word-- Teaching Toddlers to Share CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT The semester ends on December 20.  Next week, the week of December 16, we will have our end of the semester celebration potluck.

Rituals are practices that have meaning, are symbolic of your family values, and help form your child's identity.  There is growing research that show that kids who grow up in homes that practice family rituals tend to be  emotionally stable  and more resilient to stress and trauma because it gives children a deeper sense of identity, belonging, security and connectedness.  Rituals can grow love. This time of the year is a wonderful time to begin and practice your family rituals.  Why Do Families Need Rituals? The Importance of a Family Ritual Consider This: What family rituals do you want to incorporate into your life with your children?  Any from your family growing up?  Any new rituals you would like to begin? EXTRAS 60+ Ideas for Family Rituals/Traditions

This week's challenge is to practice Emotion Coaching which not only builds empathy, it also builds Emotional Quotient (EQ) also known as Emotional Intelligence (EI).  Some researchers believe that EQ is just as important, if not more than IQ .  Research shows that children and adults who have a high EQ are happier, are more efficient and effective as students and employees, have longer lasting relationships, and are physically healthier. To help us, and our children build their EQ, we should practice our Emotional Coaching skills, which for some, can take a lifetime to master. If we use this practice with our children, and with other adults in our lives such as partners, co-workers, and friends, this will help strengthen those relationships as well as build our empathy and EQ. Nancy's Simplified Emotion Coaching Steps:  CCLAP Feelings Chart Descriptive Emotions Wheel- to build vocabulary EXTRA Brene Brown on Empathy   A 3 minute animated short to help us...

According to Christine Carter of the Greater Good Science Center based at UC Berkeley ,   Emotional Coaching  is " One of the most important parent practices in the history of the universe . " Emotion Coaching is helpful in every kind of relationship, not just as a parent, but as a partner, co-worker, friend and other adult relationships.  Try this practice, with your kids and other adults, to build awareness and empathy. Four Parenting Styles/Introduction to Emotion Coaching Six Step Process for Emotion Coaching When Your Child is Upset Five Steps to Emotion Coaching Graphic (Abridged) TRY THIS Which way of parenting to you gravitate to?  What style of parent were your parents? Did you try more awareness in yours and other's feelings?  How did that go? EXTRA In case you didn't know which parenting style is yours, here's a quiz:  What Style Of Parent Are You? If you want to geek out on Emotion Coaching, here's  a few short video...

Overpraising can negatively affect children's effort, ability, their view of themselves and more. Try These 10 Mindful Phrases to Effectively Praise Your Kids When you do praise your children, and aren't sure what to say, sportscast.  Describe what you saw and if you remember, teach them that that is a positive character trait. Examples: It was kind when you gave one of your apple slices to Tommy. I saw how you tried to put that piece into the puzzle many ways until you found its place, that shows persistence. List of Character Traits EXTRAS Explanations and examples of concrete phrases you can use. 6 Proven Ways To Encourage Your Kids Effectively What Every Parent Needs to Know About Praise What to Say Instead of Praising BOOK DISCUSSION This week of November 4, we will discuss one chapter, Chapter 17 and 18, from the book,  How To Raise An Adult   by Julie Lythcott-Haims. CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT There will be no classes on Monday, November 11 for the ...

The ideas of Fixed and Growth Mindsets seem very logical, but newly researched.  This revolutionary idea came from the Stanford Psychologist Researcher Carol Dweck, who has focused on motivation, personality and development.  A Growth Mindset can change our life, and those around us, for the better. Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives  .  (legible graphic) Carol Dweck Revisits the 'Growth Mindset' Beginning at a young age, allowing your child to be a helper, by choice, not coercion, makes kids more generous. Raising Helpful Kids: The Perils of Rewarding Good Behavior. Consider This: Do you have a Growth or Fixed Mindset about your child, yourself, or others (partner, coworkers, siblings...)? BOOK DISCUSSION This week of October 28, we will discuss one chapter, Chapter 16, from the book,  How To Raise An Adult   by Julie Lythcott-Haims. CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT Our  Halloween Costume/Potluck Party  will be...

Protecting unstructured time for play is difficult in this age of screens everywhere.  This can help shed light on things. Young Children in the Digital Age: A Parent's Guide (also in Spanish) Practicing life together through chores, builds positive competencies for life-skills. You can begin even before your child is 2 years old. How to get Kids to Do Chores: Does The Mayan Method  Work A list of life skills/chores according to age:  Life Skills by Age You've got to watch this four year old boy cook and feed his littler sister.  He's got some life skills. EXTRAS The Importance of Sustained Play in Child Development BOOK DISCUSSION This week of October 21, we will discuss Chapter 14 & 15 from the book,  How To Raise An Adult   by Julie Lythcott-Haims. CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT Our  Halloween Costume/Potluck Party  will be the week of Monday -10/28, Halloween Week.  Put on those adorable costumes and bring healthy food ...

In the 1960's, Diane Baumrind wrote about three different types of p arenting styles . Since then, research has been conducted on the outcome of these parenting styles, with consistent results for over 50 years.  On one side of the parenting spectrum, there is the  Permissive  parenting style, on the other there is  Authoritarian.   The international research done with every socio-economic level show there is the sweet spot in the middle:  Authoritative  parenting.  The two main components to Authoritative parenting is  warmth/love  and  structure/limits . Authoritative Parenting :  An Evidence Based Guide Fewer toys is can help with creativity, and more. An Over-Abundance of Toys May Stifle Toddler Creativity Note:Researchers later added a fourth style of parenting- Indifferent/Univolved. EXTRAS The Only Parenting Model You Need  (Authoritative) German kindergartens, toys are being taken away to curb futu...

Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children's Entertainment (TRUCE) is a wonderful organization with helpful resources for parents and educators.  These pages give guidelines on how to choose healthy and beneficial toys and entertainment for children.  Hopefully this can help you with your gift and holiday shopping. ​Infant-Toddler Play& Toy Guide Extras: TRUCE's Toys and Play Guides NPR's The Trouble With Talking Toys (listen to the 3 minute piece, or read the summary) Why My Child Will Be Your Child's Boss (Referred to in Chapter 9 in How to Raise An Adult) BOOK DISCUSSION This week of October 7, we will discuss Chapter 9, 10 &11 from the book,  How To Raise An Adult   by Julie Lythcott-Haims. CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT Our  Halloween Costume/Potluck Party  will be the week of Monday -10/28, Halloween Week.  Put on those adorable costumes and bring healthy food to share.

Research that shows  outdoor play prepares kids for achievement in STEM , develops executive function and many other life skills.  It's catching on... The Perks of a Play-in-the-Mud Educational Philosophy It's very popular in Scandinavia and Europe.  Here's what an American observed: Running Free in Germany's Outdoor Preschools EXTRA Can Spending Time In Nature Improve Executive Function? A four minute documentary where Dr. Lakisha Reid explains exactly what is developing as children play. BOOK DISCUSSION This week of September 30, we will discuss Chapter 6, 7 & 8 from the book,  How To Raise An Adult   by Julie Lythcott-Haims. SF EVENT Big Truck Day in McLaren Park , Wednesday, October 2, 10-noon

If you are reading this article, your kid probably doesn't need preschool , Slate.com calls it the Early Education Racket.  But if parents need time without their children, please read on.  It is often assumed children need direct instruction and academics to become kindergarten ready, but research has shown something different--play is most important.  Kids in academic preschools do not have advantages over those in play based preschools, it shows the opposite.  L ess structured time to play can build more executive function . Kids who went to play based preschools tend to like school more, are less stressed about school, are more creative, and perform better academically and socially. Why kids deserve a preschool that lets them play The main ways to get your kids ready for school is to 1) Have conversations with your kids (this also helps with attachment) 2) Read books with them regularly, and 3) give them time to PLAY.  Really, you don't even need to enro...

The American Pediatrics Association put out a clinical paper titled " The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds " extolling the purpose in playing.  Physically, emotionally, mentally, academically and relationally, play develops these areas in children. It is essential for children. But w hat exactly does it mean to play?  And what can I do as a parent to get my children to play?  A parent educator writes this essay to explain this and more. What is Play? While your child is playing, consider having them go outside into nature. Why Kids Need To Spend Time In Nature CONSIDER THIS How did you play as a child? How can you incorporate more play into your family? BOOK DISCUSSION This week of September 16, we will discuss Chapter 2 & 3 from the book,  How To Raise An Adult   by Julie Lythcott-Haims.  As you read, consider these ideas: -Was there a story, statistic, real life example ...

Registration has begun!   Couples Parenting Workshop  on Sunday, September 15:  Creating a Family Vision and Mission   Read more here , or scroll down for more information. Spoil your kids with physical affection.  Study after study show that this can have positive long term effects. According to the  Grant Study , the most expensive and encompassing 75 year longevity study, the 75 year olds who had "life satisfaction" and happy had one thing in common:  they felt closeness with their parent.  The decades old idea that you can spoil a child with affection is to be ignored (although you can spoil your child with other things).  Be liberal with those hugs and kisses.  (It's good for adults too.) How a Parent's Affection Shapes the Child's Happiness for Life There is no such thing as being a perfect parent.  Some research says you just have to be "perfect" 20-30% of the time.  Thats good enough... When Good Enough Outclass...

Registration has begun! Couples Parenting Workshop on Sunday, September 15:  Creating a Family Vision and Mission Read more here , or scroll down for more information. Parents now are very concerned that their children need to be "taught" at an early age.  But in reality, children learn very differently than adults.  In fact, there are many  misconceptions  of Early Learning, such as... ...Children begin learning from the moment of birth on. ...Children are empty vessels or blank slates to be filled with knowledge. ...Social, emotional and intellectual learning are separate, and intellectual or cognitive learning is most important. ...The adult's role is to "teach" children, making every moment a teaching moment. Science shows how these are misconceptions. Mind in the Making: The Science of Early Learning Harvard's 'The Science of Early Childhood Developments' The videos are more interesting:  Three Core Concepts of Early Development ...

Welcome  to those that are new, and welcome back to everyone else! **Announcing:  Creating a Family Vision and Mission-- Couples Parenting Workshop Dates  Read More Here are resources with a quick overview on your child's development, common issues and what you can do at this stage.  The more you understand about your child, the more empathy you will have for them and your parenting. Zero to Three Age Based Handouts (0-36 months) Three to Four Year Olds Four to Five Year Olds Elementary through Adolescent Ages Consider This: Did anything surprise you about your child's development? Is there any suggestions on the list you want to try? QUIET OBSERVATION In class, we will be taking time to do Quiet Observation of our children.  Quietly watching our children in action is an ideal way to learn about child development.  The principals used in class are taken from  Magda Gerber's ideas of the RIE Approach .  Pick up the article in class...

**Announcing:  Creating a Family Vision and Mission Workshops Dates Read More The warmth of the relationship with a parent matters physically, emotionally and mentally through adulthood.  This is what the longest, and most expensive study on Human Flourishing, Grant Study , has shown.  " Seventy-five years and 20 million dollars expended on the Grant Study points to a straight forward five year conclusion 'HAPPINESS IS LOVE. FULL STOP.'"  This conclusion is true of most longevity studies. Love in the home makes a lifetime of a difference. So let's practice talking to our kids in a loving way. Five Ways To Talk To Your Kids So They Feel Loved Research in child development show taking risks in play is healthier.  The Overprotected Kid  (if you haven't read this article, you really should),  lays out the research plainly.  Thankfully more people are paying more attention to this. Making Playgrounds a Little More Dangerous Why Good Parents L...

If you are reading this article, your kid probably doesn't need preschool.   But if parents need time without their children, please read on.  It is often assumed children need direct instruction and academics to become kindergarten ready, but research has shown something different--play is most important.  Kids in academic preschools do not have advantages over those in play based preschools, in fact, it shows the opposite.  Kids who went to play based preschools tend to like school more, are less stressed about school, are more creative, and perform better academically and socially.  Here's an article from Parents Magazine that give guidance on how to find a preschool. Play's the Thing!  If you want your preschooler to be ready for the academic rigors ahead, forget about the curriculum.  Instead, look for a classroom that lets children learn the way they do best. Finland has much to share about the needs of our young children.  Children lear...

Did you know... Kids Who Spend Time In Nature Become Happier Adults Parenthood, Play and Creativity by Nancy Gapasin Gnass and Eliza Gregory  PARENTHOOD What is the most important thing a parent can do for their child?  LOVE  them. The parent/child connection is our most secure relationship. Research consistently shows that the most important thing a parent can do is love their child. The top-ranked competency that helps predict a strong parent-child bond and children’s happiness, health and success is  “love and affection.  You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together.” 1 When you love your children, you also show them  empathy.  Examples of this include giving them affectionate hugs and kisses; singing, reading and talking to your child; and making time to play together. When they get older, spending time with them where you are not distracted by other things and deliberately...

In American Scientific's article,  What Makes a Good Parent , the author lists 10 parenting practices that predict the best outcomes in raising children.  The number nine practice is Spirituality.    It's defined in the article below as   an  "Inner belief system that the universe and all people are connected in ways we cannot see." This can be helpful for your child see beyond themselves, find meaning and purpose, and gain an understanding on how the world is inter-connected.  The author also includes practices/rituals that will help grow a worldview in your family. Beyond Belief: Raising a Spiritual Kid -- All children need to know that there's more to life than "me, me, me."  Here's how to teach them about faith, hope, and morality, even if you're a religious free agent. EXTRA/New News Considering we are having children later in life, and we want to be around-- Putting Down Your Phone May Help You Live Longer The World...