Parenting With Teacher Nancy

This holiday time of the year can bring changes in schedules, visitors, late nights, shopping trips, sugary treats and overstimulation, which can be a cause for tantrums in our children.  Thankfully there is science around the tantrum.  The more we parents understand it, the less we fear it. What's Behind A Temper Tantrum?  Scientists Deconstruct the Screams Class Announcement This week is Finals Week, and we meet one last time.  The new semester starts on January 12.  We will be celebrating with a class potluck, so be sure to bring food to share. Happy Holidays!

There is growing research that show that kids who grow up in homes that practice family rituals tend to be emotionally adjusted and more resilient to stress and trauma because it gives children a deeper sense of identity, belonging and security.  This time of the year is a wonderful time to begin and practice family rituals. Why Do Families Need Rituals? Holiday Traditions That Raise Happiness (Podcast) There are many family rituals that can help foster gratitude.  Here are two articles on how gratitude/materialism and the consumer culture effect our children. Gratitude vs Materialism Too Young to be a Consumer:  The Toll of Commercial Culture on the Rights of Childhood Consider This: Reflect on what values you want to bestow on your family.  How are you going to incorporate those values through rituals in your family? Extras: Past post on Family Rituals  April 2014

According to a Newsweek article, our country is in a c reativity crisis , that can effect not just children, but even our economy (the Harvard Business Review writes about this as well). There is a remedy: Play Power: How to Turn Around Our Creativity Crisis Choosing thoughtful playthings can help foster this.  (Below is a repost from March.) Understanding that meaningful play is helpful for children's development, parents should take into consideration their play things.  Toys should promote language and social skills, creativity and physical development.  Here are three articles to point you in that direction: Infant-Toddler Play, Toys and Media Action Guide The Increasing Role of Electronic Toys in the Lives of Infants and Toddlers: Should we be concerned? The How and Why of Homemade Toys and Activities

It is sometimes difficult to watch our children just play, because they occasionally choose danger.  Sometimes we just have to let them take healthy risks, despite how hard it is for us parents to watch.  The Atlantic Monthly came out with this article this last spring... The Overprotected Kid Consider This: Do you tend to be an overprotecter? Were you overprotected? Why or why not would you take your child to this type of playground? CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT: There will be no class on Monday, November 10 due to the Veteran's Day Holiday Observed.  There will be classes the rest of the week.

Last week's articles discussed how praising our children effects their growth or fixed mindset.  These articles can help you nurture your child's growth mindset: What to Say Instead of Praising The Effects of Praise Here's an article that I recently found in NY Times that links with the discussion the other week on technology. Is E-Reading to Your Toddler Story Time or Simply Screen Time? Consider This: How do you praise your child? In what specific ways are you trying to change the way you praise your child? How Children Succeed  Book Discussion This week we will discuss the final chapter and conclusion, Chapter 5, in its entirety, from Paul Tough's book  How Children Succeed  at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Thursday, 10/30 and Monday, 11/3), and 12:40 in the afternoon class (Thursday, 10/30).  

The ideas of Fixed and Growth Mindsets seem very logical.  The Growth Mindset can change our life for the better.  Find out more here: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives We can teach our children how to have the Growth Mindset in the way we praise them. How Not to Talk to Your Kids New York Magazine Consider This: Do you have a Growth or Fixed Mindset? Were you told you were smart?  How did that affect you? How will you adjust the way you praise your child? How Children Succeed  Book Discussion This week we will discuss Chapter 4, in its entirety, from Paul Tough's book  How Children Succeed  at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Thursday, 10/23 and Monday, 10/27), and 12:40 in the afternoon class (Thursday, 10/23).  

Studies regularly show that kids who are rewarded for good behavior undermines their motivation to be helpful. Raising Helpful Kids:  The Perils of Rewarding Good Behavior Consider This What can you do to help your child become more empathetic and helpful? How Children Succeed  Book Discussion This week we will discuss Chapter 2 from Paul Tough's book  How Children Succeed  at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Thursday, 10/9 and Monday, 10/13), and 12:40 in the afternoon class (Thursday, 10/9).  

New research came out in May on the effects of toddlers using touch screens and its effects on language development. New Study Finds Touch Screens Linked to Slower Language Development An article on tech executives' parenting choices around technology: Steve Jobs Was a Low Tech Parent Here is a nice summary on Nurture Shock's chapter on Language Development.  This includes very practical tips on encouraging your child's speech.  Although it is missing the most important tip:  respond to your children with loving touches. Talking Toddlers:  Seven Tips to Help Develop Language Skills By Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman Consider This What is your view of technology and parenting? What "tip" will you try this week with your child to help their language development? How Children Succeed Discussion This week we will discuss the second half of Chapter 1 from Paul Tough's book How Children Succeed at 9:40 in the morning classes (on Thursday, 9/2

It's impossible to the perfect, especially as a parent.  Donald Winnicott coined the term "Good Enough Mother."  Being good enough should be perfect for your child. In Search of the Good Enough Mother A well timed loving caress promotes language development.  Responding to your child's babbling with a touch or caress is a way to "Serve and Return."  Po Bronson's and Ashley Merryman's book,  Nurture Shock , has an incredible chapter on Language Development called "Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't".  This is not to be missed, see the hand out in class. Consider This "Good enough" parenting, how do you feel about it? What practical steps will you take to help develop your child's language? How Children Succeed  Discussion This week we will be discussing Chapter 1(Sections 1 through 8).  In class on Thursday 9/18, and Monday 9/22.  And here in the comment section below.

We're looking at Scientific America's idea on What Makes a Good Parent.  They refer to the ten competencies and essential parenting skills. What Makes A Good Parent Scientific American NEW!  Book Club This semester we will be reading the book by Paul Tough:   How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character .  Please pick up a copy of this book at the library (there are ebooks and audios there as well), at your local bookstore or online.  We will discuss the book in class at 9:40 in the morning class and 12:40 in the afternoon class.  There will also be an online discussion here in the comment section. This week we are reading the introduction, and we'll begin on 9/11 and 9/15 in class. Here is an excerpt of the introduction (unfortunately, it is missing the last two pages) Consider This: Which parenting competencies and essential parenting skills surprised you?  Which ones do you excel in?  What are your areas of growth? Book Club:  W

Responding to your child in the early years can help build the foundation for healthy brain development and long lasting health. The Science of Early Childhood Development Center on the Developing Child: Harvard University We will spend some class time doing Quiet Observation.  You can read about a mom's experience with this  here . Consider This:    What is "Serve and Return"?  What does that look like with you and your child? Extras: Short  videos  explaining  Three Core Concepts in Early Development , including Serve and Return responses. More reading on brain development and the importance of the early years experiences:  Early Experiences Can Alter Gene Expression and Affect Long-Term Development Next week:  New material and Book Group planning.

Welcome to those that are new to the class, and welcome back to everyone else!  Although this is a repost, check it out again, since your child will be at a different stage now compared to when you last looked at this. Here's a quick overview on your child's development, common issues and what you can do at this stage. Zero To Three:  Age-based Handouts Three To Four Year Olds Consider This: Did anything surprise you about your child's development? Class Resources: Here are the  lyrics to some of our favorite songs . Playdough recipe for you to make at home.

Parents in our urban setting stress out about preschool.  Thankfully, if you are an engaged and intentional parent, your child will develop fine, and will have the academic and social skills needed to succeed in school: with out preschool.  But, we parents may need them to go to preschool to have our own needs met-- like a break from caring for our child, or work.  Slate.com wrote an interesting article about this. The Early Education Racket:  If you are reading this article, your kid probably doesn't need preschool. But it's very likely, since it is the culture of parenting in this generation that you will consider this, so here is an introduction to the types of preschool philosophies. Preschool Philosophy 101: Understand the many approaches to early childhood education. These philosophies have great ideas.  The most important qualities is needed in a preschool is that 1) you feel comfortable with the space, staff and the program 2)the preschool is child centered, and

Creating a family mission/vision/core value statement helps us make choices with a purpose.  This is the topic first addressed in the book,  Becoming The Parent You Want To Be , by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser.  They write how this framework can guide our parenting choices.  "Creating and holding a vision is critical to us and to the health of our families.  When we know what we are striving for, we have a yard stick by which to measure our choices and actions as parent.  We learn to enact our values in the present and project them into the future."  (p.3) Developing a Vision for Your Family Becoming The Parent You Want To Be Creating a Positive Family Culture: How and Why to Create a Family Mission Statement The Art of Manliness Four Tips for Creating a Great mission Statement Black and Married With Kids Consider This: Try coming up with ideas for your family mission statement this week. Extra: Becoming The Parent You Want To Be ,  by Laura Davis and Janis

Today we had a rich conversation in class sharing family rituals and traditions after discussing the articles .  I heard from several of you that you wanted to have a forum to share these so others can get ideas.  So I'm asking for you to share, in the comments, these beautiful practices so others can incorporate them into their families.  These rituals can be daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally or annual traditions.  They can be done with the kids or just with your partner. I'll start the sharing with some of my family rituals that I do with my kids an husband... Popcorn made on the stove when it rains. Rice porridge for Friday morning breakfast. Burritos to go for the Giants games at the stadium. Readings/Quote of the day and check in at breakfast. Sharing our "peaks" and "valleys" at dinner. Strawberry picking in the spring. Apple picking and pumpkin patching in the fall on Columbus Day Holiday. I asked my 10 year old son, and he quickly answer

Understanding that meaningful play is helpful for children's development, parents should take into consideration their play things.  Toys should promote language and social skills, creativity and physical development.  Here are three articles to point you in that direction: Infant-Toddler Play, Toys and Media Action Guide The Increasing Role of Electronic Toys in the Lives of Infants and Toddlers: Should we be concerned? The How and Why of Homemade Toys and Activities The American Pediatrics Association recommends no screen time for kids under two years old.  Because screen time effects the brain, cognition and psychosocial and physical health of our children. Selected Research on Screen Time and Children The easiest way for kids have meaningful creative play is to take them outside.  Richard Louv, wrote about Natured Deficit Disorder(NDD) in his book Last Child in the Woods.   This has sparked international movements for getting kids outdoors and in nature.  Louv write

The view of play has changed over time.  Take a look at this historians perspective of children's play: The Wild Ones Does Play play a role in  the "Creativity Crisis" of today? The Creativity Crisis What about sports teams for toddlers and young kids?  Is playing a sport considered play? Tiny Sports Star In class today, I brought up a couple of books worth a look: Mind in the Making:  The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs by Ellen Galinsky The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Madeline Levine

In the last twenty-five years, the research in child development point to the same thing:  Play helps children thrive physically, academically, emotionally and socially.  These effects last through adulthood.  The articles written on this subject are abundant, but here are a few help you understand the basics: Serious Need For Play Scientific American Ten Things Every Parent Should Know About Play Five Essentials to Meaningful Play Extras: The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds American Academy Of Pediatrics The Cognitive Benefits of Play:  Effects on the Learning Brain

Here is another helpful resource from KidPower on aggression: Managing Aggressive Behavior ------------------- Using Positive Language helps guide children more clearly with a deeper understanding and it helps build their vocabulary.  Try to limit use of negative language by using other words besides "Don't" and "No." Instead of saying... SAY  Don't stand on the chair... Chairs are for sitting Don't throw the sand...  Build in the sand Don't play with the stick...  Make patterns in the dirt with the stick Don't yell...  Talk softly Don't drip on the floor...  Put your towel around the paintbrushes Don't leave your milk...  Drink your milk Don't drink from your friend's cup...  Drink from your own cup Don't slam the door...  Close the door gently This article shares other reasons on why Positive Language is helpful: Parenting Alternatives to Saying No

I get many questions on what to do about aggression in toddlers and why this happens.  I like how this article has a series of questions to consider, since there are many reasons for this behavior.  The writers asks you to question what is going on with the child, and what is going on with you.  It also gives you practical ways to respond. Aggressive Behavior in Toddlers Consider This: Has any of the suggestions in dealing with aggression helped you? How does emotional coaching(as discussed in my last post) fit in with dealing with aggression?

It's that time of the year to think of our partners, and not just our children.  Did you know good partners make good parents? Good Partners Make Good Parents Let's work on our love relationship this week. Reclaiming Your Relationship Five Simple Sex Tips for Parents My husband and I enjoyed reading together John Gottman's book, Seven Principals for Making a Marriage Work.  Here's a quick summary of Gottman's ideas. How to Keep Love Going Strong:  7 Principals on the Road to Happily Ever After Consider This: How can you work on your relationship with your partner this week?

You can make a big difference now in your child's long term health. The Science of Early Childhood Development Center on the Developing Child: Harvard University Your child is always learning, even when they were in the womb.  All the interactions they have are a learning experience. Mind In The Making: The Science of Early Learning We will spend some class time doing Quiet Observation.  You can read about a mom's experience with this  here . Consider This:    What is "Serve and Return"?  What does that look like with you and your child? Now that you have a bit of an understanding of these concepts, how does that affect the way you parent or the way you would like to parent? Extras: Short videos explaining Three Core Concepts in Early Development , including Serve and Return responses. More reading on brain development and the importance of the early years experiences:  Early Experiences Can Alter Gene Expression and Affect Long-Term Development

Welcome! Here's a quick overview on your child's development, common issues and what you can do at this stage. Zero To Three:  Age-based Handouts Here are the  lyrics to some of our favorite songs . Consider This: Did anything surprise you about your child's development?