Parenting With Teacher Nancy

  Pandemic Shows Children's Well-Being Rests On Parents' Psychological Health (October, 2020) means that we have to take care of ourselves, to take care of our children. It's taking us to the basics: the top three parenting practices: 1) Love and Warmth 2) Relationship Skills, and 3) Stress Management. After reading this article about parental psychological health, it made me personally want to work on my relationship with my partner. This pandemic has taken a toll on our relationship, for better and for worse.  It's healthier for my mental and physical health to have the support of my partner despite, at times, feeling sick of them. I don't need stress in my relationship, if it's coming from all other angles outside of it too. Maybe you feel the same way.  So this week I'm focusing on relationships. This article has three steps to reconnect with your partner, but I decided to just focus on one this week to work on. "Express what you cherish in your p

  Toddlers and young children hear the word "no" sometimes 300 times in one day. The constant use of this word from caregivers may impact children negatively. Don't get me wrong: It is imperative to teach children boundaries, but there are more helpful phases that can be used when communicating. Consider other options. How to Say No Without Saying No  20 Ways to Say No 

Play is essential for a child's healthy development. I've previously written about this in multiple posts. Here is a good summary .  This week, I want you to think about why it's important for your child to play without you. Consider this idea... Allow your child to play independently more often. Stop Entertaining Your Child From ZeroToThree.org (Pandemic Help) https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/3299-baby-talks-parent-coronavirus-questions-answered#chapter-2468  (Links to an external site.) How do I encourage independent play? Q: I know it would be ideal if we could spend our time at home due to coronavirus playing with our children all the time, but it’s just not possible. How do I get my little ones to play on their own for a little while when I need do other things (work/prepare food/etc.)? A: This is a great question and something that almost every parent is wondering about right now! Let’s start with what to expect when it comes to attention span in the early years

The family culture has the most influence on your children, even above peer, school and community culture. Culture is formed by their value system, and how they are practiced through rituals.  This week we'll take a step back and look at what is driving your rituals, by examining your background, and value system. The beginning of this article is repetitive of what we covered last week, but continue  to read to the end on implementation. How To Build A Family Culture

 Practicing family rituals help children thrive, even before the pandemic.  But they need it now more than ever, since they don't get the peer interaction that they used to have.  To make up for this deficit, they need strong family bonds that bring security and identity.  Rituals Defined:  A family ritual is a set of behaviors that is repeated and that is symbolically meaningful. Family rituals provide families with a sense of identity and belonging. Family rituals also provide a sense of continuity across generations. In other words, they are a way of transmitting family values, history and culture from one generation to the next.   Family Rituals: Why They’re Important https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-life/routines-rituals-relationships/family-rituals Family rituals like meals, cultural festivals, activities, and kisses, winks or handshakes give you and your children a sense of  security, identity and belonging . That’s because they’re special things that you do t

The  Good Enough Parenting  concept was formed in the late 1960's.  Simply put, all you have to do is love your child, and keep trying to be the best parent you can be. Knowing you'll make plenty of mistakes, we can practice  Rupture and Repair .   The beauty of Good Enough Parenting-- some research says that you have to be "Good" 50 percent of the time-- others have said as little as 30% of the time. That's it! That's why it's called 'Good Enough.' This is manageable. I asked my teenage kids one night at dinner, "What percent do you think I'm a good mom?" They were partly joking, and partly trying to get a rise out of me, and chided "Only 50% of the time."  I told them they made my day! Good Enough Parenting in a Time of Crisis Consider This: How can you let go of trying to be a perfect parent, and instead be happy with Good Enough? How can I better reflect to repair ruptures? What self-care do I need to practice to be a Go

In this stressful time, we need to focus on what is most important, so we'll look at how Love and Affection  ( the most important parent competency ) has long term effects.    How a Parent's Affection Shapes a Child's Happiness for Life The biggest and most expensive longevity study showed the warmth of your relationship with a parent matters long into adulthood .  So let's build this warmth through hugs. Practice for this Week Hugs would fit into parenting competencies one, two and three, as long as you are hugging your children and anyone else in your household.    Forbes magazine also has it as a way to combat the stress of this pandemic time. The late Virginia Satir, psychotherapist and pioneer in family therapy believed “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”   Directions Decide your goal for number of hugs.  If you are not getting four hugs a day, make this your goal for this week, if

This has been a tough week. It's stress and anxiety producing enough just to be parenting in this day and age, and for most, keeping up healthy co-parenting relationships.  Then we have the pandemic, and its by-products: concern or worry for the health of your family and loved ones, financial/housing/work...insecurities.  In the education realm, all who are involved, teachers, staff, students and families, we are grieving the normal beginning of a school year, missing the face to face connections, loss of our classrooms to the virtual world with all the challenges, and parents simultaneously home schooling and attempting to work. Let's add the political climate with the upcoming election, disagreements that arise in every direction, inequalities and the unjust systems. We can't forget the racial awareness that is now at the forefront of the nation's conscience that has resulted in daily protests in this country and the need for change. On top of everything else-- Fires.

  While we are stuck together as we shelter in place, and this summer (whatever that might look like), it's important to be present, really present, with each family member.  Sometimes when we are together too much, we forget to "see" each other.   Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, authors of my favorite parenting books, describe how to "show up" and connect with your family.  Do You Really "See" Your Child Taking risks is an important part of childhood (more on that next).  But how do you calculate this risk moving out of the pandemic, and deciding who to see(grandparents, friends...) and where to go (school, daycare, camps...).  Emily Oster, the economist and author of Crib Sheet and Expecting Better, helps parents understand how to evaluate risk. How to Decide: Grandparents and Day Care . Allowing your children to take risks as they play, whether on their own or with others, is an essential part of development. For those of you who have read

Dream and plan for the future of your family together with your partner this coming Saturday night, June 6:  Creating a Family Vision and Mission .  Geared for prenatal to adolescent parents.  Join me on Zoom! If you're ready for Part 2: Creating a Family Plan With Rituals on June 13, register here . Find out more here .  Not to worry, the impact of  social distancing/isolation will be minimal  for your kids. I've  heard too many parents concerned about how this pandemic will also effect their learning and future. Many parents assume young children learn as adults do.  In reality, if they are loved and have time to play freely, they will thrive.  Debunking the Belief That Earlier Is Better Serious Need For Play Let your child/ren play on their own, and play with them when you want.  They will grow up well. **There is new evidence that some children do benefit from academic rigor at a young age, but those are the children whose parents do not read parenting blogs, the s

Just Announced: May 16, Creating a Family Vision and Mission Workshop on Zoom   with Nancy Some have asked about how to deal with tantrums, since sheltering in place is difficult.  Here are a couple good articles: Tantrums: Why They Happen, and How To Respond Understanding Why Tantrums Happen and How To Support Them also What to Say Instead of "Don't Cry" Another indoor fun resource: 87 Energy-Busting Indoor Games  &  Activities For Kids (Because Cabin Fever Is No Joke) EXTRAS Last week I suggested this book to a student, and then was sent this link from a different student.  It's a great talk to give us a taste of the ideas in his book. Whole Brain Child: Neuroscience of the Developing Brain with Dr. Daniel Siegel (City Arts and Lecture) Toddler Tantrums 101:  Why They Happen and What You Can Do 14 Ways To Tame a Tantrum CLASS ANNOUNCEMENTS  Students- Please email me for more details. This Tuesday evening, April 28, 8-9 pm, please bring a

Thank you to those of you who shared your ideas.  It's a great list of Things To Do With Children, Delicious, Comforting, and Tried and True Recipes, Health and Wellness and Entertainment. Things To Do With Children Bussy Toddler- https://busytoddler.com/ - Site is full of fun and engaging activities for toddlers to kindergartners that are easy to set up.  (Try Sticker Sort -- For more exercise, I like to hold the stickers myself in another room.  Then I give my toddler a couple of stickers at a time and she has to run to the other room to sort them.) WideOpenSchool.Org Google, PBS, National Geographic, Scholastic and other companies working together to do online schooling.  For Pre-K to 12th grade. Finger Painting ( Bc my toddler still puts everything in his mouth, I use plain yogurt with food coloring and "paint" the stove top. You could use other colorful foods like red tomato paste, orange sweet potato/carrot puree, etc. ) Sink Play ( For those of