Parenting With Teacher Nancy

Raising children to become happy adults does not mean that parents must create constant happiness situations for them at all times.  Teaching them contentment, hard-work, and gratitude is more important.  And in order to teach them these things, you must spend time with them, and allow them to struggle.  It's never easy to watch our child struggle, but it's actually what will help them to be a more successful, and happier adult.  Hopefully, understanding this will take some pressure off of being the "perfect parent" at all times. Don't Make Your Children the Exception to Every Rule Your Child Is Not a Genius, Get Over It Raising Successful Children EXTRAS Something to consider (written by a mom in my class)... Understanding the concept of invisible work, is important for employees, employers, partners and both men and women to grasp. How Invisible Work & Sacrifices Affect Working Moms CLASS ANNOUNCEMENTS The end of the semester is here.  We will h

This is a season of "buy, buy, buy" in our culture, which often translates to "Gimme, gimme, gimme" from our children.  Research shows that  kids  (and  adults ) who focus on materialism can be anxious and depressed.  Parents can help change this attitude and bring in more happiness in the family by modeling and focusing on more important values this season. 6 Ways to Squash Kids' Materialism This Holiday How about creating a seasonal PLAY ritual? Family Play Plans by Seasons (I love the idea of the Winter Forts!) When you do buy toys, here's a helpful guide for you and those buying gifts for your child. Infant and Toddler Play and Toy Guide Guia TRUCE de Juegos y Juguetes CLASS ANNOUNCEMENTS The last day of the semester is December 20 (two more classes left!).  There will be holiday potlucks on December 17, 19 and 20! EXTRAS What timing-- an new paper from the American Academy of Pediatrics...  How to Old School Toys are Better For Toddler

Rituals are practices that have meaning, are symbolic of your family values, and help form your child's identity.  There is growing research that show that kids who grow up in homes that practice family rituals tend to be  emotionally stable  and more resilient to stress and trauma because it gives children a deeper sense of identity, belonging, security and connectedness.  Rituals can grow love. This time of the year is a wonderful time to begin and practice your family rituals. Why Do Families Need Rituals? The Importance of a Family Ritual Consider This: What family rituals do you want to incorporate into your life with your children?  Any from your family growing up?  Any new rituals you would like to begin? EXTRAS 60+ Ideas for Family Rituals/Traditions Here's an interesting quick read from NYT that came out just recently -- Family Birthday Rituals, Distinctly Ours For parents in the afternoon class-- Here's a follow up to the Language Development Hand

Parents today think early academics and direct instruction get children ready for school, which is not what research is showing. In fact ... I f you are reading this article, your kid probably doesn't need preschool.    Slate.com calls it the  The Early Education Racket .   But, many parents don't have a choice because of work, or parents need a break from their children.  So when you start considering preschools consider this: kids in academic preschools do not have advantages over those in play based preschools, in fact, it shows the opposite.  Kids who went to play based preschools tend to like school more, are less stressed about school, are more creative, and perform better academically and socially. The most important qualities is needed in a preschool is that 1) you feel comfortable with the space, staff and the program 2)the preschool is child centered, and 3) the program is play based.  Free PLAY is what kids should be doing at preschool.  Scientific America wri

This era of parenting deals with technology in a way that it has not before.  Technology and screens are everywhere.  Here are a couple articles published last week by New York Times to consider. A Dark Consensus About Screens And Kids Begin To Emerge In Silicon Valley The Digital Gap Between Poor and Rich Kids Is Not What We Expected BOOK DISCUSSION This semester's book is  Alison Gopnik's, The Gardener and the Carpenter .    We will discuss the final chapter,  Chapter 9: The Value of Children  in our next class discussion (Week of November 12). CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT No classes this Monday, November 12-- Veteran's Day Holiday and November 21-23, Thanksgiving Holiday. The last day of the semester is Thursday, December 20.

It is sometimes difficult to watch our children just play, because they occasionally choose danger.  Sometimes we just have to let them take healthy risks, despite how hard it is for us parents to watch.  This fascinating article from The Atlantic is a must read.  If you've read it before (I post it every semester), I encourage you to read it again, since our perspective changes as our children grow older. The Overprotected Kid A DATE NIGHT WITH YOUR PARTNER TO Create Your Family Vision and Mission.. An unforgettable, unique, productive night out to shape your family culture, and share your dreams for your family with your partner...   Creating a Family Vision and Mission Couples Workshop! Registration here or f ind out more  here . BOOK DISCUSSION This semester's book is  Alison Gopnik's, The Gardener and the Carpenter .    We will discuss  Chapter 8: The Future and the Past, Children and Technology  in our next class discussion (Week of November 5). CLASS AN

PLAY!!! Children need play to flourish.  Unfortunately, they do not engage in unstructured, and spontaneous play time as they did before.  This will help you understand the importance of it, and how to foster more play in their lives and yours. Taking Playtime Seriously Play reduces anxiety too... Empowering Kids In An Anxious World It is sometimes difficult to watch our children just play, because they occasionally choose danger.  Sometimes we just have to let them take healthy risks, despite how hard it is for us parents to watch.  This is a fascinating article that I post every semester. The Overprotected Kid Consider This: How will you help your child play more? How can you take time to play more yourself? A DATE NIGHT WITH YOUR PARTNER TO Create Your Family Vision and Mission.. An unforgettable, unique, productive night out to shape your family culture, and share your dreams for your family with your partner...   Creating a Family Vision and Mission Couples Wo

In light of current events, with the term sexual assault used everywhere, we want to start as early as possible to talk with our kids about boundaries and consent.  The more we communicate with them about their bodies, the quicker they will realize when things begin to wrong.  The more we continue to teach empathy, the more they will understand their boundaries with others.   This article shares three essential lessons that parents can give their children to help with this.  The New Birds and the Bees: Teaching Children About Boundaries and Consent DO YOU NEED A DATE NIGHT? A unique and productive night out to shape your family culture, and share your dreams for your family with your partner...   Creating a Vision and Mission Couples Workshop! Find out more  here . BOOK DISCUSSION This semester's book is  Alison Gopnik's, The Gardener and the Carpenter .    We will begin our book discussion this week of October 8.  Please read  Chapter 5: Learning Through Listening

Tantrums are not as mysterious as we thought.  Scientists have done studies by attaching monitors on  to the shirts of children find out more.  The stages of a tantrum, and what should or shouldn't do are in the articles. Remember, the most important practice you can have as a parent is to stay calm .   (Discussion for the week of October 1) What's Behind a Temper Tantrum?  Scientists Deconstruct the Screams This Is What's Happening In Your Kids' Brain When They Throw A Tantrum DO YOU NEED A DATE NIGHT? A unique and productive night out...   Creating a Vision and Mission Couples Workshop! Find out more here . EXTRAS Talked Out of Tantrums:  How baby babbling leads to good behavior    (Highlights from the article) Reading to your kids may help keep them from throwing fits, suggests a new study in Early  Childhood  Research Quarterly. Researchers measured toddlers' spoken vocabulary and  self-regulation , or ability to control behavior and emotions. They

Some researchers believe that Emotional Intelligence(EI) or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is more important than IQ.  EQ testing has has not replaced IQ testing, but other tests show that children and adults who have a high EQ are happier, are more efficient and effective as students and employees, have longer lasting relationships, and are physically healthier.   To help us, and our children build their EQ, we should become better Emotional Coaches.  For some, it is difficult to master Emotional Coaching, it takes practice, sometimes years of it.  If we practice Emotion Coaching with our children, even with other adults in our lives such as partners, co-workers, and friends, this will help strengthen those relationships as well.   (Discussion for the week of September 24) Emotion Coaching While Your Child Is Upset A Feelings Chart Descriptive Emotions Wheel- to build vocabulary EXTRA I was encouraged to share this link again, since it seemed helpful for some... Here's  a few

According to Christine Carter of the Greater Good Science Center based at UC Berkeley ,   Emotional Coaching  is " One of the most important parent practices in the history of the universe . " The book,  Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child  by John Gottman, is the source of this meaningful practice.  I've read it a couple times, it's worth the time if you have it.  Emotion Coaching is helpful in every kind of relationship, not just as a parent, but as a partner, co-worker, friend and other adult relationships.  Try this practice with them, and not just with your kids. This article is to get us started. An Introduction to Emotion Coaching TRY THIS Which way of parenting to you gravitate to?  What style of parent were your parents? Did you try more awareness in yours and other's feelings?  How did that go? EXTRA In case you didn't know which parenting style is yours, here's a quiz:  What Style Of Parent Are You? If you want to geek out on

Research methods of the brain have improved tremendously over the last couple of decades, which can explain much more about child and human development than ever before.  All the affection you are giving your child, will help form the neural connections that build a strong foundation for the developing brain.  Here are some basics about this fascinating organ. Understanding Brain Development in Young Children EXTRAS Some short videos for better understanding from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child: Three Core Concepts in Early Development What is the connection between the brain and how children learn? The organization, The Mind In The Making put together this article about Early Learning.   The Science of Early Learning  BOOK DISCUSSION This semester's book is  Alison Gopnik's, The Gardener and the Carpenter .    We will begin our book discussion this week of September 10.  Please read the Introduction : The Parent Paradoxes, and Chapter 1 : Against Par

Spoil your kids with physical affection.  Study after study show that this can have positive long term effects. According to the Grant Study , the most expensive and encompassing 75 year longevity study, the 75 year olds who had "life satisfaction" and happy had one thing in common:  they felt closeness with their parent.  The decades old idea that you can spoil a child with affection is to be ignored (although you can spoil your child with other things).  Be liberal with those hugs and kisses.  (It's good for adults too.) How a Parent's Affection Shapes the Child's Happiness for Life What else makes a good parent?  Here are 10 competencies.  The most important:  Love and affection.  No surprise there.  Number two seems to surprise parents... What Makes A Good Parent Scientific American CONSIDER THIS Build in an affection ritual. Every morning and every evening,  have a cuddle. What parenting competency would you like to work on?  How? BOOK DISCUSSION

Welcome to those that are new to the class, and welcome back to everyone else! You may be familiar with Ages and Stages of your child or seen this handout before, but check it out again.  Your child is growing, so s/he could be at a different stage now compared to when you last looked. Here are resources with a quick overview on your child's development, common issues and what you can do at this stage. Zero to Three Age Based Handouts (0-36 months) Three to Four Year Olds Four to Five Year Olds Consider This: Did anything surprise you about your child's development? Is there any suggestions on the list you want to try? QUIET OBSERVATION In class, we will be taking time to do Quiet Observation of our children.  Quietly watching our children in action is an ideal way to learn about child development.  The principals used in class are taken from  Magda Gerber's ideas of the RIE Approach .  Pick up the article in class that explains this. Also, here is one RIE Ex

There is the old adage, "you can't give your child something you don't have yourself."  If we want grateful children, we'll have to model gratitude first.  "Gratitude is more than behavior-- it is an internal experience... of NOTICE-THINK-FEEL-DO."  Let's try to be mindful of this, for the sake of our children. Five Ways to Raise a Grateful Child Summer is here!  I hope you all have time to breathe deep, laugh, enjoy those you love, and find things to be grateful for.  I look forward to seeing you all again in the Fall, if not sooner! There are still a couple spots left!  Register now. Creating a Family Vision and Mission: A Parenting Workshop for Couples When: Sunday, September 9, 3-5 pm Where: More Mojo Studios, 1347 Church Street, SF Cost: $50/Couple RSVP: Registration form or email nancyggnass@gmail.com This class is designed for couples to dream, hope, share and create their family mission and vision.  Parents lament the lac

Upcoming!   Creating a Family Vision and Mission :  A Couple's Parenting Workshop Wednesday,  June 13, 7-9pm   Read more .  Register here . Did you know when parents use technology, it can "alter parental sensitivity and quality" as well as impact their child's behavior?  It seems logical, but now there is research. Technoference:  Is Your Smartphone Distracting You From Your Child? What's the alternative? Reading and playing with your child. Reading Aloud to Young Children Has Benefits for Behavior and Attention Extra How to Raise a Reader, New York Times PARENTING WORKSHOP New Date! Creating a Family Vision and Mission: A Couples Workshop When: Wednesday, June 13, 7-9 pm Where: More Mojo Studios, 1347 Church Street, SF Cost: $50/Couple Please RSVP : nancyggnass@gmail.com Sorry, no childcare is provided. This class is designed for couples to dream, hope, share and create their family mission and vision.  Parents lament the lack

If play is essential, why are preschools incorporating more academics?  All the child development research shows that more play is better in the younger years.  The hope is that more preschools adapt this research in their programs. Why Preschool Shouldn't Be Like School Besides academics, what about sports and music?  Is earlier better? Debunking The Belief That Earlier Is Better Extra Past post on preschools, different philosophies, and what to look for. The Price of Hurrying Children PARENTING WORKSHOP Space still available! Creating a Family Vision and Mission: A Couples Workshop When: Tuesday, May 15, 7-9 pm Where: More Mojo Studios, 1347 Church Street, SF Cost: $50/Couple Please RSVP : nancyggnass@gmail.com Sorry, no childcare is provided. This class is designed for couples to dream, hope, share and create their family mission and vision.  Parents lament the lack of time with their partner to have these meaningful conversations about core va

As parents, we want to give our children everything they need to succeed in life.  It doesn't necessarily mean buying them things.  In fact, too many things, including educational toys, can get in the way of their education and learning, and have other possible negative outcomes.  In some German kindergartens, toys are being taken away to curb future addiction .  A British study done recently shows that too many toys inhibits attention skills and imagination. An Over-Abundance of Toys May Stifle Toddler Creativity Despite the age of this article, the message is still poignant.  We should consider how materialism and commercialism effects our children. Too Young to be a Consumer:  The Toll of Commercial Culture on the Rights of Childhood EXTRAS The Overprotected Kid We discussed this article in class this week.  If you have not yet read it, it's a must read. Germany is Taking Away Kindergartens' Toys To Curb Future Addiction PARENTING WORKSHOP Space still avai

Children (and adults) have a biological need to play. Why Play is Important And to take risks. In Britain’s Playgrounds, ‘Bringing in Risk’ to Build Resilience Playing and doing it in nature is a combination that really works, for everyone. Here's a list of favorite San Francisco nature spots made by students in class : Bayview Hill Baker Beach Buena Vista Park Bernal Hill Candlestick Point Park Crissy Fields Fort Funston National park Glen Park Canyon Golden Gate Park     Botanical Gardens      AIDS Redwood Grove Heron's Head Park      (there are goats near here too by SF Native Plant Nursery) India Basin Shoreline Park John McLaren Park      Lakes/duck feeding      Philosophers Walk      Blackberry picking in the late summer/early fall Land's End Trail Ocean Beach Presidio      El Polin Springs      Woodline      Inspiration Point Hike      Trails, beach, woods and more Spots 30 minutes or less from SF : Coyote Point (playground, beac

Richard Louv wrote the bestseller, Last Child In The Woods (2005), where he coined the term "Nature-Deficit Disorder." This sparked a national conversation around the need for children to be out in nature.  That conversation continues today, with more research that continues to back his idea that children are affected positively when they spend time in nature, and negatively when they do not.  The second article is based on researched released in 2018 on how being outside helps develop executive function. Connecting With Nature Boosts Creativity and Health Time Spent Outdoors Boosts Executive Function BOOK DISCUSSION This semester we have been reading the classic parenting book,   How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk ,  by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.    This week of April 16, concluding our book conversation by discussing Chapter 7, the final chapter.  Of course, reading the chapter is the best way to internalize the book, but if you run out

Rituals Defined:  A family ritual is a set of behaviors that is repeated and that is symbolically meaningful. Family rituals provide families with a sense of identity and belonging. Family rituals also provide a sense of continuity across generations. In other words, they are a way of transmitting family values, history and culture from one generation to the next. What rituals do you or will you practice that reflect your family values? What rituals did your parents have that you would like to incorporate into your family, and what new rituals do you want to begin? This article can help you process and create rituals. You Are What You Celebrate:  Ritual and Identity Examples of Rituals you can use in your family: 60+ Family Traditions You Can Practice Extra Article: Creating Family Traditions Creating a FamilyVision and Mission:  A Couples Workshop Sorry, this class is FULL Taught by Nancy When: Thursday, April 12, 7-9 pm Where: More Mojo Studios, 1347 Church Street,