Parenting With Teacher Nancy

Warmth in the home, is one of the biggest factors in human flourishing .  It's easier to have warmth for your child, but it takes more work to have warmth for your partner.  When it begins to cool between you and and your partner, this stress can negatively affect your children .  When in conflict, understanding the way you tend to respond to your partner/spouse, can help you make positive changes.  The Gottman Institute identifies the Four Horseman, the responses to conflict in a relationship, that can lead to apocalyptic results.  Luckily there are antidotes to keep this from happening, to help bring back warmth in your home. The Four Horseman: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling The Antidotes to the Four Horseman  Extra How To Have A Better Relationship - NY Times This is a one minute read emailed to you to improve your relationship.  Pretty easy to read, challenging to practice, but worth the effort. Marriage Minute, Gott...

Empathy is key to keeping healthy relationships.  As we're reading and discussing in Chapter 1 of this semester's  book , How To Talk to Kids. Empathy makes all the difference when dealing with difficult times with our children.  It does the same for our partnerships/marriages and every other kind of relationship with people we have (siblings, parents, co-workers, neighbors...).  Here's a nice little (3minute) animation that explains how it works: Brene Brown on Empathy In the video, she talks about the Four Qualities of Empathy : 1) Perspective Taking-- recognizing their perspective 2) Staying out of judgement 3) Recognizing and understanding emotions in the other person 4) Communicating the understanding of emotion. This chart can help us label emotions for our children (and others of every age whom we have relationships with), to communicate our understanding of their emotion. This Is How I Feel Today  (for young children) Emotions List (for eve...

What happens to children when we tell them they are smart all the time?  Let's look at what the research says.  Overpraising can affect their effort, ability, the way they view themselves and more. How Not to Talk to Your Kids New York Magazine Here's a follow up to last week's discussion on language development.  Give this a try, and let us know if it worked. Talking Toddlers:  Seven Tips to Help Develop Language Skills By Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman BOOK DISCUSSION This semester we will be reading the classic parenting book,   How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk ,  by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.   Please pick up the book, or audio from the library, bookstore or online. It is also available in multiple languages (Spanish, Chinese, Russian...). Our discussions will begin the week of February 12 and we will discuss one chapter a week.

Research has shown that physical affection can lead to... "Higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems."  And in the future, our adult children can become... "happier, more resilient, and less anxious."   Easy enough! How a Parent's Affection Shapes a Child's Happiness for Life This parental loving touch helps the brain to develop also. The First Year: A baby's brain needs love to develop. National Geographic Magazine   And this affection such as a well timed loving caress also promotes language development.  Responding to your child's babbling with a touch or caress is a way to "Serve and Return."  Po Bronson's and Ashley Merryman's book,  Nurture Shock , has an incredible chapter on Language Development called "Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn't".  This is not to be missed, see the hand out in class. BOOK DISCUSSION ...

Welcome to those that are new to the class, and welcome back to everyone else! You may be familiar with Ages and Stages of your child or seen this handout before, but take another look.  Your child is growing, so s/he could be at a different stage now compared to when you last saw this handout. Here are resources with a quick overview on your child's development, common issues and what you can do at this stage. Zero to Three Age Based Handouts (0-36 months) Three to Four Year Olds Four to Five Year Olds Consider This: Did anything surprise you about your child's development? Is there a suggestion on the list you want to try? QUIET OBSERVATION In class, we will be taking time to do Quiet Observation of our children.  Quietly watching our children in action is an ideal way to learn about child development.  The principals used in class are taken from  Magda Gerber's ideas of the RIE Approach .  Pick up the article in class that explains this. Also,...

Children as young as 6 months old know that there are differences in race.  And when they learn to communicate, they want to talk about it.  Talking about it is how we can foster tolerance as part of their worldview:  discuss the differences with them.  These articles explain how children learn about race, and how they can be taught to be accepting. Rubbing Off Greater Good Science Center Even Babies Discriminate Newsweek Extra: Combatting Stereotypes: How to Talk to your Children   Feb 15, 2017 -  For young   children , how we speak is often more important than what we say. Even 'positive' generalizations can lead   children   to adopt negative   stereotypes . Class Announcement We will have potluck this week, our last week of classes.  I hope to see you next semester!

Since the light is shining brighter on sexism in our society right now, I thought it would be appropriate to think about how early parenting has an effect on how our children see the roles of men and women in society.  Hopefully, with these ideas in mind, we can teach our children to have a better understanding of gender, and treat everyone with respect and dignity every human deserves. Sexism Starts in Childhood Nov 6, 2017 -    ... How do I shape my son into a man who respects women and treats them as equals?   ... I asked them how and why kids develop gender stereotypes and   sexist  behavior, and what parents can do to prevent them. CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT City College SF's last day of classes/finals is December 22.  Our class potlucks will begin the week of December 18.