Parenting With Teacher Nancy

The family culture has the most influence on your children, even above peer, school and community culture. Culture is formed by their value system, and how they are practiced through rituals.  This week we'll take a step back and look at what is driving your rituals, by examining your background, and value system. The beginning of this article is repetitive of what we covered last week, but continue  to read to the end on implementation. How To Build A Family Culture

 Practicing family rituals help children thrive, even before the pandemic.  But they need it now more than ever, since they don't get the peer interaction that they used to have.  To make up for this deficit, they need strong family bonds that bring security and identity.  Rituals Defined:  A family ritual is a set of behaviors that is repeated and that is symbolically meaningful. Family rituals provide families with a sense of identity and belonging. Family rituals also provide a sense of continuity across generations. In other words, they are a way of transmitting family values, history and culture from one generation to the next.   Family Rituals: Why They’re Important https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-life/routines-rituals-relationships/family-rituals Family rituals like meals, cultural festivals, activities, and kisses, winks or handshakes give you and your children a sense of  security, identity and belonging . That’s because they’r...

The  Good Enough Parenting  concept was formed in the late 1960's.  Simply put, all you have to do is love your child, and keep trying to be the best parent you can be. Knowing you'll make plenty of mistakes, we can practice  Rupture and Repair .   The beauty of Good Enough Parenting-- some research says that you have to be "Good" 50 percent of the time-- others have said as little as 30% of the time. That's it! That's why it's called 'Good Enough.' This is manageable. I asked my teenage kids one night at dinner, "What percent do you think I'm a good mom?" They were partly joking, and partly trying to get a rise out of me, and chided "Only 50% of the time."  I told them they made my day! Good Enough Parenting in a Time of Crisis Consider This: How can you let go of trying to be a perfect parent, and instead be happy with Good Enough? How can I better reflect to repair ruptures? What self-care do I need to practice to be a Go...

In this stressful time, we need to focus on what is most important, so we'll look at how Love and Affection  ( the most important parent competency ) has long term effects.    How a Parent's Affection Shapes a Child's Happiness for Life The biggest and most expensive longevity study showed the warmth of your relationship with a parent matters long into adulthood .  So let's build this warmth through hugs. Practice for this Week Hugs would fit into parenting competencies one, two and three, as long as you are hugging your children and anyone else in your household.    Forbes magazine also has it as a way to combat the stress of this pandemic time. The late Virginia Satir, psychotherapist and pioneer in family therapy believed “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”   Directions Decide your goal for number of hugs.  If you are not getting four hugs a day, make this ...

This has been a tough week. It's stress and anxiety producing enough just to be parenting in this day and age, and for most, keeping up healthy co-parenting relationships.  Then we have the pandemic, and its by-products: concern or worry for the health of your family and loved ones, financial/housing/work...insecurities.  In the education realm, all who are involved, teachers, staff, students and families, we are grieving the normal beginning of a school year, missing the face to face connections, loss of our classrooms to the virtual world with all the challenges, and parents simultaneously home schooling and attempting to work. Let's add the political climate with the upcoming election, disagreements that arise in every direction, inequalities and the unjust systems. We can't forget the racial awareness that is now at the forefront of the nation's conscience that has resulted in daily protests in this country and the need for change. On top of everything else-- Fires....

  While we are stuck together as we shelter in place, and this summer (whatever that might look like), it's important to be present, really present, with each family member.  Sometimes when we are together too much, we forget to "see" each other.   Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, authors of my favorite parenting books, describe how to "show up" and connect with your family.  Do You Really "See" Your Child Taking risks is an important part of childhood (more on that next).  But how do you calculate this risk moving out of the pandemic, and deciding who to see(grandparents, friends...) and where to go (school, daycare, camps...).  Emily Oster, the economist and author of Crib Sheet and Expecting Better, helps parents understand how to evaluate risk. How to Decide: Grandparents and Day Care . Allowing your children to take risks as they play, whether on their own or with others, is an essential part of development. For those of you who have read...

Dream and plan for the future of your family together with your partner this coming Saturday night, June 6:  Creating a Family Vision and Mission .  Geared for prenatal to adolescent parents.  Join me on Zoom! If you're ready for Part 2: Creating a Family Plan With Rituals on June 13, register here . Find out more here .  Not to worry, the impact of  social distancing/isolation will be minimal  for your kids. I've  heard too many parents concerned about how this pandemic will also effect their learning and future. Many parents assume young children learn as adults do.  In reality, if they are loved and have time to play freely, they will thrive.  Debunking the Belief That Earlier Is Better Serious Need For Play Let your child/ren play on their own, and play with them when you want.  They will grow up well. **There is new evidence that some children do benefit from academic rigor at a young age, but those are the children whose p...