Parenting With Teacher Nancy

Dealing with the Corona Virus turns parenting up a notch, or for some, too many notches. This is a difficult time. The New York Times recently had an article, Parents Need Stress Relief, Too .  These are the coping methods they suggested: 1) Give yourself grace. 2) Don't judge coping styles. 3) Remember sleep hygiene. 4) Timebox your worries. 5) Social distancing doesn't mean you should stop being social. 6) Help others as much as you can. I'd like to add a couple more things to this list: 7) Stop reading about parenting.  Enough already. Follow your gut. Since you're reading this, you've read plenty.  Now just do what you feel works for you and your family. Too much information about parenting is anxiety inducing.  I know this from personal experience.  Yes, there is always more, or something better you can do, but go back to the first suggestion on this list: Give yourself grace. Just give lots of love and affection, don't worry what others might thi...

There are no face-to-face classes at CCSF for now. Please see the official  CCSF Announcement , or see below in CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT section. This is a historical time, dealing with Covid-19.  It's a time when we are considering our own health, the health of of others, and even life and death.  For many of us, whose schedules have emptied because of cancelled gatherings, meetings, parties, sports events, work... there is possibly some time to take stock in what is most important. Spring time is the time of year when we also think of growth, blooming, and what is flourishing, and the time every year when I bring up the family vision and mission.  A vision and mission help us make choices with a purpose.  In the book,  Becoming The Parent You Want To Be , by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser, they write how this framework can guide our parenting.  "Creating and holding a vision is critical to us and to the health of our families.  When we know what we ar...

CCSF is still open. There will be face-to-face classes until the end of the instructional day, March 12.  Please see the official  CCSF Announcement . Children love to be  philosophical , they ask the incessant why questions, the questions we should always be asking ourselves. Why is the word the way it is? Why are we here? Why, why why?  It's important for parents to give our children these foundational ideas as a cornerstone to build their own family narrative. Spirituality defined in the article below as   an  "Inner belief system that the universe and all people are connected in ways we cannot see." This can be helpful for your child see beyond themselves, find meaning and purpose, and gain an understanding on how the world is inter-connected.  The author also includes practices/rituals that will help grow a worldview in your family. Beyond Belief: Raising a Spiritual Kid -- All children need to know that there's more to life than "me, me,...

As you connect during your rituals with your partner, child/ren and family, you have time to tell stories.  These stories help create your family narrative. Your Family Narrative shapes who you are and who your children will be. We all have a narrative. In  Dr. Steve Silvestro's article on Family Narratives ,  he describes it as the "story we use to describe ourselves, both to other people and in our own heads."  This is important because narratives "create the framework for what you see and experience."  This is true, for us, parents, with our own narrative, and for our children, with the narrative we pass on to them. Generational family narrative builds a strong 'intergenerational self', according to Emory professor, Marshall Duke.  Children will understand they belong to something bigger than themselves.  This in turn, builds self-confidence, security and resilience in our children.  You can read about it and the research in the article. The ...

Practicing the five positive interactions to one negative is easier if you have connection rituals built into your day.  This could mean a good morning hug and kiss, and then another have-a-nice-day hug and kiss when parting in the morning. This is already two positive interactions done! This works for your children and your partner.  There are daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal and annual small and big rituals that can be incorporated into your life. We'll be discussing the benefits of practicing rituals/traditions this week and next. Stay Connected: Why Couples and Family Rituals Matter So Much Resources that come from this article:  Couple Rituals , 60+ Family Tradition Ideas , Love Rituals Establishing Family Rituals This Week's Relationship Skills Challenge One:  Make three lists of rituals you are practicing or would like to begin with your 1) Child/ren 2) Family 3) Partner Two: Choose one or two from each list to begin practicing this week. Three: Do i...

Although this article pertains to married couples, this ratio and principle is true for any kind of relationship: parent-child, adult child-aging parent, boss-worker... Five positive interactions to one negative to make relationships strong and builds trust. The Magic Relationship Ratio, According To Science These positive interactions are  The Easiest Way To Improve Your Relationship: Bids. Spend 60 seconds every few days to improve your marriage.  My partner and I have found this resource helpful and fun. Marriage Minute BOOK DISCUSSION The following week of February 24, we will discuss  Part 2: Fostering Connection  of  Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Laura Markham.  We will be using this  discussion guide  (first link on top) to guide our discussion.  Please use this as a worksheet as you read. CLASS ANNOUNCEMENT There will be no class this Monday, February 17, for President's Day Holiday.

This is the   Valentine  Month, so we'll do a little bit to think about our partners because g ood partners make good parents .  A healthy relationship reduces stress in the home.  According the article from the other week, the top three parenting skill (first, love and affection, second, stress management , and third, relationship skills), working on your partnership relationship develops all three of these.  It also models positive skills for your children.   John Gottman , world renowned researcher on marriage stability and lasting relationships expert, has helpful tools to enhance love in partnerships. Seven Ways To Improve Your Marriage This Week's Relationship Skills Challenge One: Practice the Six Second Kiss . Two: Continuing our gratitude practice, show your gratitude to your partner by expressing what you appreciate about them.  Communicate this creatively by a fun and surprising note, email or text, or something else.  Her...